Mixed feelings..

I'm going into University fairly excited yet I'm quite nervous about starting school all over again. I can't imagine myself going through the system like I did in polytechnic and I don't really know if I can do it at all. I'm feeling a bit dejected. I could say totally over-awed by the people around me, my new surroundings and my next phase of my life. I think I am afraid of facing the civilian world again after getting so used to the Army for the past 2 years of my life. I'm not sure whether life after ORD is really the life I've been looking forward to at all.. I am having these mixed feelings because I don't really know what I want to look forward to in school at all.. Other than getting the grades, I felt I already accomplished what I wanted to do in Polytechnic. So will I get to do something different in NUS? Honestly, I'm not sure. The anticipation is keeping me on my toes until the day I start school. Till then I'll just have to count the days down to the day I hang up my rifle for good.

Meeting that someone new has been emotional; both in its good ways and bad. I really hope for the best, for I there is nothing else I'd rather do then to be with the special someone for as long as I can. I hope everything will soon iron itself out. She's too good to be true. She's really too good to be true. Somehow I think I'm not even good enough for her. I can't match up to her. Yet, I hope I can give her all I can give. :)

NDP continued..

I am already feeling lethargic from all the marching from the NDP rehearsals as well as the actual parades on the saturdays. Somehow I wish it would all end sooner. I know the National Day Parade is the biggest parade in Singapore's calendar year, but mark my words it is no mean feat. The people we have to deal with becomes the biggest challenge for anyone involved in the NDP when conflicts arise from the many who are so enthusiastic about making the parade the best. It can be pressurising for anyone brought under the limelight to perform in front of 27000 pair of eyes but what gives me the most pressure is when I see different faces in a makeshift team that is incapable of performing. I am very much a team player and I really hate to see things like this happen, yet it is truly beyond my control. I wish for the NDP to be the best performance for the colour party especially because it will be on live television. More so because it will be my final contribution in my short but eventful career in the armed forces. I hope there would be more of the adrenalin rush to come in the next few performances. I hope I will see the best of the colour party on that very day of 9 August.

Relief..

The feeling of relief cannot be understated when the other party is forgiving after a heated argument. This feeling is all too good to be true. I hope it'll keep the flame burning, going strong. Thanks guys. You helped me through this small hump. :P