Finally some peace..Reflecting..

I think today was the only real day where I could just sit down, ponder and reflect upon the feelings and experiences I have gone through for the past 2-3 weeks. It was a difficult past 2 weeks I guess, not having the time to look back at my mistakes. Somehow, just by being on my own I could tell that I was trying to break through the inertia of helping others and volunteering willingly. I was glad to see that I made changes in myself, eventually being happy to volunteer because it helped the platoon as a whole. My attitude towards menial work changed when I realised the importance of my responsibilities. I realised that pride really takes a big portion into the changed attitude that I have for my new responsibilities. It is really about configuring and rewiring my brain that my job is significant and taking the pride to do the job well. I realised that I have become more of a neat freak these days and it is really really scaring me. HAha.. I never really noticed I have changed the untidy side of myself until I took a look back 5 months ago when I was a enlistee. Although I can see all this happening in me, I could tell that many of my friends around me are the same old dudes that came into OCS 3 months ago. I would not say that it was their fault, because they have different goals from mine. It may be a lonely road when it comes to conciously developing myself in OCS, reading books, reflecting and creating challenges for myself. But I know all this effort will not come to waste at all. All this accumulated effort would only help me well into the future in time to come. Positivity in life is something no one else can teach me to do, for I am the only one who can motivate myself. Life as an officer is waiting for me. I cannot wait to embark on my first foray as a military leader. That experience is already visually created in my mind. It will happen, I know it! Pressing on...