The Battle has just begun..

Studying again. It seems an indomitable task considering it has been 3 years since I last touched a text book depicting any form of quotation from any professor of sorts. I'm starting to feel the new playing field I'm competing on especially since receiving news of my entrance into NUS. Not that I'm not looking forward to it. It's just that it won't be the same playing field I was on in poly. It feels as if I just entered a battlefield.

One where weapons are in play instead of the ordinary ball being playfully passed around. I can imagine the bullets flying around and shrapnel throwing itself about all over me in University. I can imagine the professors brandishing weapons of mass destruction at the freshmen at every oppotunity they can get; using their superior terminology of business terms in their pursuit to brainwash the meek freshmen. Seniors in school wielding looks resembling arrows awaiting to be released at the freshmen who steps on their toes. "Ooh.. The freshie!", they'll go. I can imagine the number of bombs that will land on me at the eleventh hour in the moments of madness before the exams. Yet, I'm not afraid. I'm thrilled.

The thrill of it all. The thrill of going through the battlefield I call NUS. Going through NS, I don't really think anything can be tougher than going through the jungles in my LBV and long 4. I'll win the war; battle by battle. Trust a soldier to go through school with a mindset of a soldier. Guess I am a soldier at heart with the discipline and will of an officer. Nothing is impossible. Or should I say IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!

Butterflies..

Looking back over the past week, luck seems to have been swinging towards my favour; NUS acceptance letter, taking part in National Day, my health seems to be improving and I guess getting closer to my friends as well. It really is an irony how the good things in life just comes in windfalls when I least expect it. I could least expect myself to feel the way I'm feeling right now. The gut feel of knowing something good is about to happen. Something that I may have waited quite some time for. Only time can tell if things turn out the way they should. Only time will tell. Feeling butterflies in my stomach and I don't understand why..

Thought, Think, Thinking..

I had a great time with my some of my poly friends yesterday maybe because this was the first time we met this year. Meeting them really reminds me of my days in Poly. Without them I would have never got to where I am today. Yet, I can sense many of them have begun to move on with their lives and I am happy for them. Some of them have moved to beyond where I am right now, studying for their degrees and so on. Yet, my dreams seem so distant from where they are headed. For I am thinking..

I'm getting tired. Tired of the fact that I face the same old thoughts everyday from the people around me. I'm tired; hearing the same old way of moving ahead in life, of buying a new car, of signing on in the Army etc etc. I'm tired of hearing how people get so excited going into a local university and everyone else praising them for it. I'm tired because all those dreams are not my dreams. I'm tired of people not facing up to the reality of the choices they are making in their lives. My heart is telling me to do something else I know I am destined for. My heart is asking me to do it for my family. If I ever stood for something, it has to be this. Jiayou Saf! I can do it. I know I can.

A Chaotic day!

Went for another afternoon of NDP training. It is going to be tougher the next time I round I swear. Haha.. Well it's all part and parcel of the whole NDP package I guess. No one would have believed that we were going through the whole sequence of the parade on our second training. I must say it is really a huge feat trying to coordinate hundreds of people on the parade square. My respects go out to all Sergeant Majors. I cannot imagine how fantastic we'll look on the parade square come August 9. I am really looking forward to it.

Well after that long afternoon, the all important ice cream outing with Elene, Teck and Xuihui. Lol. Never would have guessed the incredible amount of laughter we got out of this trip to Tom's Palette. It was CHAOS in TOM's Palette! I hope Chronos enjoys the the "feng li shu" aka pineapple tarts I brought for him from Taiwan. And I sure believe that the rest of us had a great time with the owners and their "5 year old" worker playing "the Secret Number"! Esther just can't stop making fun of me I guess. More jokes are on her this time. Had fun the whole night just laughing away. Oh I am sure I wouldn't want her to be my best friend in NUS FASS. I'll run away as far as I can if I ever see her.. Oh well, if she's reading this blog, I guess it won't be bad to praise her for being such a joy to be around and a not-so-bad ice cream scooper. LOL. I wish she just stick to her netball sometimes. Yet, I kind of respect her focused attitude to her beloved sport. Yo, Capitan. I think you made the greatest captain at during your time! The 2 slits above your nose (i.e. eyes) showed everything.LOL!

<< ESTHER aka CAPTAIN 5 Yr old!


















<< The New Ice Cream Stick Disposal System


Well, hope I have such "chaotic" days in many times to come! Till my next posting!

NDP '08 OEI! & Taiwan Pics!

Yes, NDP is coming soon and preparations are already under way. Already started my first NDP rehearsal yesterday for the colour party. The flag is EXTREMELY heavy. It seems heavier after the previous day's gym session. My body's still aching from all that carrying and marching. I am going to see most of my weekends doing the parades. I can see myself doing the same thing over and over and over again. Yet, I know everything is going to be worth it when I march into the parade grounds with my unit colour flying high. It will be a moment I will most definitely remember for the rest of my life. I hope all the effort will be worth that moment in time on 9 August 2008. In the mean time, I'll think about ORDing along the way. ORD in 3 months! Woo!

Oh and some pictures I took in Taiwan!
The scenery was awesome.. Just breathtaking..
An ocean view.. At Kenting, south of Taiwan.

The very popular Ximen shopping district behind me!

Smelly beancurd stallin Shilin Night Market. I had to queue 20 minutes for one bag of 10 pieces. Hell it was worth it!

In the Taipei metro! I think as tourists we really made quite a din in the train. Quite a cool experience being in one of the most efficient metros in the world!

Well, that's all for the photos. Taiwan was fun. Looking forward to more tours in future! NDP next up!

Admiring from afar..

The person seems so near, yet in actual fact she is so far.

Admiring from afar, she looks more beautiful than I ever thought she was.

So strong, so passionate. Yet, I can only admire her from afar.

I think the closest I can get is as much as a hug from her and nothing else.

How I wish it could be much more.

Yet I can only admire from afar.

Catching up...

I was glad that after the horrible morning, I had a chance to meet my friends firstly for ice cream and then for a delightful supper. The morning of 8 May shall be forgotten cause it was the rest of the day that I will remember.

I had lunch with Joshua in the afternoon and I was glad I caught up with him one on one especially since he had the time to. (MC for 2 weeks after an operation is no joke) Glad I had a listen to his plans after his ORD to further his studies. It's great knowing he has plans in mind. Wasn't glad to hear how some of my other dragonboat buddies are doing. At least Josh is focused this time. He's not taking the chance to study for his degree lightly this time. I think he grew alot ever since I knew him from Secondary school. I really admire his discipline in the way he leads his life. I'm glad he's not turning out like some of the rest we know. They lost their way. Josh found something new to turn his attention to.

Ice cream with Xiuhui in the evening was the most interesting part of the day. Glad I made a new friend called Ester at my fav ice cream bar in SG; Tom's Palette. She was an interesting friend who had a strange taste for designing rather peculiar "5-year-old" drawings. No prizes for what her new nickname was. Chillaxed for most of the evening at the Esplanade while catching up with her. I can't believe she remembers all the FO cheers up till now. Ok, I must admit I did feel the same way after I graduated. Yet I swear I don't cheer in public.

Midnight. An old friend and neighbour asked me out to chill at ICE3 aka ICE Cube. Ice cream again and a jolly old teh tarik after that. Delightful for a supper, yet what was most satisfying about the supper was the long talk we had about the reality of life. Zhiming really has his sights going for his business. I'm glad he has his life sorted out. He has nothing to lose. I know he will make it one day.

My life from today onwards will no longer be made of excuses. I just can't except them anymore. I will do what I plan to do no matter what. There is no turning back. 5 years and I will be the person that I want to be. I will be the person. My dreams are still in the back of my head. I believe I will succeed. God willing.

Is studying in NUS such a big deal?

I just came back from a scholarship interview for NUS. It was ugly. The interviewer raised points I could not even have believed hearing from such an educated person. I am angry. Angry for the fact that for me being honest, it seemed like it was a foolish way to earn the scholarship. Is it always the case where someone who knows how to speak getting the scholarship? Is it always about the elite in Singapore getting their way to earn the right to be somebody in future? What is so elite about being in NUS? What is so good about getting a place in NUS? So what if I rejected the initial offer to NUS? Is studying in NUS really all that worth it? It's disgusting to see them smirk at the thought of me rejecting the initial offer to NUS. Isn't life about making the right decisions that will empower you in future? I really lost faith in NUS after that initial contact with them. Circumstances are forcing me to change directions. Somehow I lost faith in the education system. I don't understand why they think that way. I don't understand why they are not facing reality. I'm going to face reality. I have to get out of this stupid race I'm in. It's too ridiculous to be in it. God please help me..

Missing home..

I miss home so much. I miss my mum, dad, sis and everyone else back in sg. I've never been this homesick in my life. 3 more days. I love you guys so much!