The Battle has just begun..

Studying again. It seems an indomitable task considering it has been 3 years since I last touched a text book depicting any form of quotation from any professor of sorts. I'm starting to feel the new playing field I'm competing on especially since receiving news of my entrance into NUS. Not that I'm not looking forward to it. It's just that it won't be the same playing field I was on in poly. It feels as if I just entered a battlefield.

One where weapons are in play instead of the ordinary ball being playfully passed around. I can imagine the bullets flying around and shrapnel throwing itself about all over me in University. I can imagine the professors brandishing weapons of mass destruction at the freshmen at every oppotunity they can get; using their superior terminology of business terms in their pursuit to brainwash the meek freshmen. Seniors in school wielding looks resembling arrows awaiting to be released at the freshmen who steps on their toes. "Ooh.. The freshie!", they'll go. I can imagine the number of bombs that will land on me at the eleventh hour in the moments of madness before the exams. Yet, I'm not afraid. I'm thrilled.

The thrill of it all. The thrill of going through the battlefield I call NUS. Going through NS, I don't really think anything can be tougher than going through the jungles in my LBV and long 4. I'll win the war; battle by battle. Trust a soldier to go through school with a mindset of a soldier. Guess I am a soldier at heart with the discipline and will of an officer. Nothing is impossible. Or should I say IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!

Butterflies..

Looking back over the past week, luck seems to have been swinging towards my favour; NUS acceptance letter, taking part in National Day, my health seems to be improving and I guess getting closer to my friends as well. It really is an irony how the good things in life just comes in windfalls when I least expect it. I could least expect myself to feel the way I'm feeling right now. The gut feel of knowing something good is about to happen. Something that I may have waited quite some time for. Only time can tell if things turn out the way they should. Only time will tell. Feeling butterflies in my stomach and I don't understand why..

Thought, Think, Thinking..

I had a great time with my some of my poly friends yesterday maybe because this was the first time we met this year. Meeting them really reminds me of my days in Poly. Without them I would have never got to where I am today. Yet, I can sense many of them have begun to move on with their lives and I am happy for them. Some of them have moved to beyond where I am right now, studying for their degrees and so on. Yet, my dreams seem so distant from where they are headed. For I am thinking..

I'm getting tired. Tired of the fact that I face the same old thoughts everyday from the people around me. I'm tired; hearing the same old way of moving ahead in life, of buying a new car, of signing on in the Army etc etc. I'm tired of hearing how people get so excited going into a local university and everyone else praising them for it. I'm tired because all those dreams are not my dreams. I'm tired of people not facing up to the reality of the choices they are making in their lives. My heart is telling me to do something else I know I am destined for. My heart is asking me to do it for my family. If I ever stood for something, it has to be this. Jiayou Saf! I can do it. I know I can.

A Chaotic day!

Went for another afternoon of NDP training. It is going to be tougher the next time I round I swear. Haha.. Well it's all part and parcel of the whole NDP package I guess. No one would have believed that we were going through the whole sequence of the parade on our second training. I must say it is really a huge feat trying to coordinate hundreds of people on the parade square. My respects go out to all Sergeant Majors. I cannot imagine how fantastic we'll look on the parade square come August 9. I am really looking forward to it.

Well after that long afternoon, the all important ice cream outing with Elene, Teck and Xuihui. Lol. Never would have guessed the incredible amount of laughter we got out of this trip to Tom's Palette. It was CHAOS in TOM's Palette! I hope Chronos enjoys the the "feng li shu" aka pineapple tarts I brought for him from Taiwan. And I sure believe that the rest of us had a great time with the owners and their "5 year old" worker playing "the Secret Number"! Esther just can't stop making fun of me I guess. More jokes are on her this time. Had fun the whole night just laughing away. Oh I am sure I wouldn't want her to be my best friend in NUS FASS. I'll run away as far as I can if I ever see her.. Oh well, if she's reading this blog, I guess it won't be bad to praise her for being such a joy to be around and a not-so-bad ice cream scooper. LOL. I wish she just stick to her netball sometimes. Yet, I kind of respect her focused attitude to her beloved sport. Yo, Capitan. I think you made the greatest captain at during your time! The 2 slits above your nose (i.e. eyes) showed everything.LOL!

<< ESTHER aka CAPTAIN 5 Yr old!


















<< The New Ice Cream Stick Disposal System


Well, hope I have such "chaotic" days in many times to come! Till my next posting!

NDP '08 OEI! & Taiwan Pics!

Yes, NDP is coming soon and preparations are already under way. Already started my first NDP rehearsal yesterday for the colour party. The flag is EXTREMELY heavy. It seems heavier after the previous day's gym session. My body's still aching from all that carrying and marching. I am going to see most of my weekends doing the parades. I can see myself doing the same thing over and over and over again. Yet, I know everything is going to be worth it when I march into the parade grounds with my unit colour flying high. It will be a moment I will most definitely remember for the rest of my life. I hope all the effort will be worth that moment in time on 9 August 2008. In the mean time, I'll think about ORDing along the way. ORD in 3 months! Woo!

Oh and some pictures I took in Taiwan!
The scenery was awesome.. Just breathtaking..
An ocean view.. At Kenting, south of Taiwan.

The very popular Ximen shopping district behind me!

Smelly beancurd stallin Shilin Night Market. I had to queue 20 minutes for one bag of 10 pieces. Hell it was worth it!

In the Taipei metro! I think as tourists we really made quite a din in the train. Quite a cool experience being in one of the most efficient metros in the world!

Well, that's all for the photos. Taiwan was fun. Looking forward to more tours in future! NDP next up!

Admiring from afar..

The person seems so near, yet in actual fact she is so far.

Admiring from afar, she looks more beautiful than I ever thought she was.

So strong, so passionate. Yet, I can only admire her from afar.

I think the closest I can get is as much as a hug from her and nothing else.

How I wish it could be much more.

Yet I can only admire from afar.

Catching up...

I was glad that after the horrible morning, I had a chance to meet my friends firstly for ice cream and then for a delightful supper. The morning of 8 May shall be forgotten cause it was the rest of the day that I will remember.

I had lunch with Joshua in the afternoon and I was glad I caught up with him one on one especially since he had the time to. (MC for 2 weeks after an operation is no joke) Glad I had a listen to his plans after his ORD to further his studies. It's great knowing he has plans in mind. Wasn't glad to hear how some of my other dragonboat buddies are doing. At least Josh is focused this time. He's not taking the chance to study for his degree lightly this time. I think he grew alot ever since I knew him from Secondary school. I really admire his discipline in the way he leads his life. I'm glad he's not turning out like some of the rest we know. They lost their way. Josh found something new to turn his attention to.

Ice cream with Xiuhui in the evening was the most interesting part of the day. Glad I made a new friend called Ester at my fav ice cream bar in SG; Tom's Palette. She was an interesting friend who had a strange taste for designing rather peculiar "5-year-old" drawings. No prizes for what her new nickname was. Chillaxed for most of the evening at the Esplanade while catching up with her. I can't believe she remembers all the FO cheers up till now. Ok, I must admit I did feel the same way after I graduated. Yet I swear I don't cheer in public.

Midnight. An old friend and neighbour asked me out to chill at ICE3 aka ICE Cube. Ice cream again and a jolly old teh tarik after that. Delightful for a supper, yet what was most satisfying about the supper was the long talk we had about the reality of life. Zhiming really has his sights going for his business. I'm glad he has his life sorted out. He has nothing to lose. I know he will make it one day.

My life from today onwards will no longer be made of excuses. I just can't except them anymore. I will do what I plan to do no matter what. There is no turning back. 5 years and I will be the person that I want to be. I will be the person. My dreams are still in the back of my head. I believe I will succeed. God willing.

Is studying in NUS such a big deal?

I just came back from a scholarship interview for NUS. It was ugly. The interviewer raised points I could not even have believed hearing from such an educated person. I am angry. Angry for the fact that for me being honest, it seemed like it was a foolish way to earn the scholarship. Is it always the case where someone who knows how to speak getting the scholarship? Is it always about the elite in Singapore getting their way to earn the right to be somebody in future? What is so elite about being in NUS? What is so good about getting a place in NUS? So what if I rejected the initial offer to NUS? Is studying in NUS really all that worth it? It's disgusting to see them smirk at the thought of me rejecting the initial offer to NUS. Isn't life about making the right decisions that will empower you in future? I really lost faith in NUS after that initial contact with them. Circumstances are forcing me to change directions. Somehow I lost faith in the education system. I don't understand why they think that way. I don't understand why they are not facing reality. I'm going to face reality. I have to get out of this stupid race I'm in. It's too ridiculous to be in it. God please help me..

Missing home..

I miss home so much. I miss my mum, dad, sis and everyone else back in sg. I've never been this homesick in my life. 3 more days. I love you guys so much!

4 months and counting..

4 months to the big day I'll get my beloved pink IC. Its a big milestone yet my life has only begun. Just that I must add that I will miss the army for all the wonderful experiences that it has brought to me. It has been a journey I have never regretted. The next few months; ROC and NDP. bring it on!

I believe.

Having a great time in camp now, though MSK's a bitch. I'm finally getting closer to the guys, realising it can be easier than it looks. They are a great bunch to be with, especially since there are so many of them that are great leaders themselves. It's been enlightening to see them doing their duties diligently without much complaints, only with the promise of a little reward though. They have been a group of men I have learnt much of the real world about; that leading this group of them requires much more than logic but heart as well.

Over the past few months, my perspectives on leadership change ever so significantly because it can be ever so dynamic; never the same the next day. Position counts on certain occasions, but it is how being a friend to the person that leadership can really be made easier. I have definitely see myself change in the way I have become ultra-patient, ultra-tolerant and understanding.

Things are more or less falling into place now. I look forward to the rest of the months with the platoon full of enthusiasm and passion. This has been the work I have been looking for though in a context that may not be all that forgiving. Conciously living each day has been the greatest asset I ever got over the past 6 years for it got me to where I am today. Not many can have as many achievements as myself. I believe I should be proud of each and every one of those achievements. I believe that I will get those to my goals with trust, faith and belief. I will.

I'm thankful for everything that I have right now. I believe I can achieve more.. I believe.

Uber Cool Week!

Just last friday, I attended a cool party back in school to catch up with the alumni from TP. It was great knowing that I had so many friends that still remember me. It was great catching up with so many of them, knowing that they're still doing well or even better than I thought. I feel so glad for them and wish them all well. Had so much fun monkeying around like I always do. i always feel myself when I'm in TP. TP will always be home in my heart foreva!

Just that Thursday, i had a great time basking in the sun, sand and sea in Sentosa with my men from my platoon. I can't believe I had so much fun even though it was frustrating that our Sentosa trip was marred by rain in the afternoon. It was really a chance to see the guys in a different light outside of the Army and honestly, they really made my day. No ordinary men, they can really lead the way to their lives if they really wanted to because of their extraordinary leadership abilities. It was unbelievably fun. haha..

Thinking back, Ifeel great being where I am right now because I know that my future is shaping up with the decisions I am making in my life right now. Having seen the things I have been doing and taken part in. I know I'll make it in the future one day. That goal of mine will always be sticking in my head till the day I reach it. I just know I'll get it. I'll walk the path less beaten and succeed. I just know I will.

WWGD? (What Wud God Do?)

I'm so perplexed about the stuff dats happening ard me. Though I'm always an adventurer by nature, its not easy making decisions that refer to affairs of the heart. Sigh. I wish I had more guidance. I'll just let things flow. As they say, I'll GO-WITH-THE-FLOW this time. Cross my fingers and pray all will be smooth as silk. WWGD?

A leader's true colours..

It was a memorable week knowing that it was an extremely tiring week for myself as well as the rest of the battallion. More importantly, it has been a week where I have seen before my eyes the real situations that a leader would face under pressure. It has been an insightful week into the hard truth of being a leader and the realities of living as one.

It was a Monday I would always remember for the reason that I took the platoon out for their first mission that day. From the planning all the way to the execution, my mind was so set out on doing the best for them. To create an experience that they would remember. When the crunch came, it all came naturally to me. I made decisions where they count and I gave it my all. Looking back, it was a great experience I would love repeating. It was definitely heartwarming to see their enthusiastic faces on the day of the mission. I believe I did what a leader should do.

Over the week, I could see leadership emerge from all forms. Some coming from the men, others for the commanders. When crunch time came, it became so natural for them to take the lead to get things done. The look on my CO's face was all the more inspiring. Even as he was pressured to perform, he never took his eyes off the eventual goal he set out for himself; which was to show the Indonesians that Singapore was a capable a fighting force as much as they were. Being an ambassador for Singapore was a good and proud moment for me. It would the only chance I'd get to meet Indonesian soldiers and the chance was well worth it.

Worked hard over the course of the week, barely sleeping more than 5 hours for most of the week. Enjoying the weekend ust lazing around but not without my reading. Thinking about my goals for the next 10 years. I think I got something going.. Push on Saffy.. Push on..

A chance encounter with an Indonesian soldier

My week started rather early on Sunday due to some responsibilities I had to undertake at work. Honestly, it was really a dread to go back to work on a Sunday but it was worth the while when the participants quietly appreciated my efforts. It was a hell of a day but I guess nothing beats some unpredictable events in the week.

Over the next few days, the battalion was getting ready to receive the Indonesians who had just arrived on our shores. The partaking in exchanges between the 2 armed forces was very much anticipated.

I had a brief exchange with one of the Indonesian soldiers today and it must have been the most insightful conversation I had in recent weeks. This soldier was soft-spoken and well mannered, much to my amazement. Soft-spoken and humble never seemed to be the words to describe them before they came. He acknowledged my rank and proceeded to ask questions regarding our training in Singapore. It was when I asked him questions that I felt I had to better appreciate where I came from. I must admit, he looked remarkably similar to my father as most of the Indonesians were. No surprise that my family is a descendant of the Javanese origin; the land where this soldier was born. He was a corporal who rose through the ranks through a good 14 years. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that, adding that he was already 36 and he was still a fighting fit soldier. To them, it seemed that being a soldier was very much a privilege in back home where only 200 of 1000 applicants get the eventual nod to join the country's armed forces. It was so contrasting to the fact that in Singapore, it is an eventual norm that everyone would have to serve the nation. This soldier was a father of 2 very young sons, 8 and 4. Sadly, he only has the opportunity to visit them once in 18 months. It was alarming to hear how his sons would not acknowledge him when he returns. His looks only appear as bare traces in his children's memories. He shares his memories and experiences with great enthusiasm; his face lighting up at the mention of his family. At the end of our conversation, I was left dwelling on the thoughts of my actions, my situation and experiences. I realised I have only discovered so little of the world.

Looking at the world in the eyes of others can really do wonders sometimes. That conversation enlightened me in ways I could never imagine. It really shows how much we do take things for granted. Does life always have to be about me all the time? That question I hope will be answered in time to come as I improve on my weaknesses.

On a lighter note, I definitely had a great time watching "Enchanted" wuth Kai Wei on Thursday. Sometimes I do think that our friendship was a chance encounter that was truely magical. Every experience is magical in a sense. Every experience enchanted.

Earning the respect..

Earning respect comes only with time and effort put in to actually get into the heads of these people. Time will tell whether all the effort would prove worthwhile. The boys already got into a bit of trouble over the week. Long weekend for Deepavali. Best I enjoy it now before I get busy again..

Glad to be part of Al-Caliph. Football will always be a part of me.

TP Alumni @ Regatta 07

The sights and sounds seemed so familiar.. Singlet clad men and women were walking around UOB building. A myriad of colours adorned the banks of Boat quay as men and women of all ages congregated at the biggest dragonboat race of the year, the Singapore River Regatta 2007. Hunks and babes came down to Boat quay today to either participate or just have a good time basking in the sun. It was judgement day for my alma mater, TP to race for school pride.

Unfortunately, they did not fair as well as I thought they would, coming in 4th for their National Men's Championship race. It wasn't really the highlight I was looking forward to. Yet being at the races did give me a sense of nostalgia.

Every moment I was at the race sight was intensely hair raising. I don't really understand why it seemed as if I miss being in the dragon boat, rowing with the passion running through my veins like I was in the yesteryears. It seemed as if the sensation and feelings the dragon boaters felt seem to come back for a moment today. I felt like I was rowing again.

I had my doubts to row again in University, when I could see myself pursuing other opportunities to improve myself. However, there is no way I will admit I lost my love for rowing. Sports is my way of testing my limits and it will continue to be so for years to come. It seems rowing is one of my passions I can never let go off. It is really my cup of tea.

In any case, i wish the TPDB team good luck in their future endeavours and look forward to perform better with each and every race. Got some pictures of the guys today. Hey TPDB, keep at it... Hope I can get to row in NUS soon. God willing.

ZzzzZZZZzzzzzHibin!

TeamTP 2007!

Team Alumnua 2007! We SaY!
Idiots aka TP Alumni...

TPDB in the Grand Finals! I'm proud of them!

Life is Great!

The Dream Platoon Commander.

The past month has been rather challenging to note. On one side, I realise how much I need to level up myself as a platoon commander in my administrative capabilities; operational staff work, report writing and even right down to details of leaves and offs of the men. More importantly, I have learnt many a lesson regarding how to handle people who come from so many different backgrounds. I begin to realise this job is tougher than it looks, when expectations of the leader is apparently high within the platoon. I'm feeling the pressure, yet then again it always comes with the job.

Listening in to the men has a way of saying, "I care for you, so tell me your problems". Sometimes people really think it is really easy to listen. Its not when everyone else likes to talk about ourselves most of the time. Its really good to know what's on their minds, as its only then that I can attend to their needs. A good leader sees each and every individual to be someone unique who has a potential beyond his wildest dreams. I want to see myself do that for them before I move on to my new life in 9 months time.

I took my first steps to listening to their expectations of their "Dream Platoon Commander", getting them to write down what they'd want from myself as their leader. Words are varied in structure and grammar but most did say they want one who can motivate them in times of joy and sorrow. The commanders know they crave someone who can guide the platoon. They want me to navigate the way for them to succeed.

Life in the army can be irritating sometimes, but most times, one will meet situations only the human spirit will prevail. I see myself imparting this value of determination to the men in time to come. Eventually, I really want to see myself being an excellent platoon commander.

Taking life each day will not suffice. I need to start navigating the future for this bunch of men. This group of soulja boyz...

Meeting reservist men who called me Sir..

It's been 4 weeks ever since I commissioned and I guess officer life has been getting better ever since. No more turn outs, no more being referred to as smelly cadets, no more early mornings to do the dreaded 5BX and so much more freedom.

I've been getting along with my men most of the times and having fun at the same time. Stress does come in once in a while when the workload piles up but I guess its just part of the job.

I guess it gets stranger when men start calling me "Sir" for the reason of the "bamboo stick" that I have on my shoulders. It becomes apparently uncomfortable when men in their 30s call me that too.

I went for an outfield exercise for 4 days with a battalion of very brave NSmen; some who have not touched a rifle for close to a year and sport pot bellies of incredible proportions. Others have established families and careers whom I can label were much more financially sound than mine. It was such an eye opener to see men as mature as them pick up their rifles and fight just like they did years ago when they were still active NSF.

Marching along in a mish mash of formations along the road, they carried the loads on their backs as if they carried bricks of steel; clearly exhausted and lethargic. Many fell out, fainted and wheezed as their counterparts chugged along towards the objective. It was simply through sheer determination that they were willing to walk on in the sheer darkness of the jungle.

Their lethargic bodies eventually took the form of the soldiers they once were a decade ago when they took siege on the their enemies as adrenaline rushed through their aged veins. Testosterone seem to fill their bodies as they fire their rounds away at their seemingly aggressive targets.

It was an insightful experience, knowing I would someday be like on of them in future be called upon to serve the country for 2 weeks in the year, to fight for the nation. In a term known as reservist,it is set to be the next phase of army life that I will have to encounter in the next 15 years of my life.

I would remember an occasion when one of the men asked me a question enroute to the objective through the woods that reminded me that I was an officer of the SAF.

Rifleman: Sir, do you know how far away are we from the objective?

Myself: You people walked faster than I imagined. We're only about 1 km away (reluctantly smiling)

I knew that we had longer to walk, but to raise their morale, there was this much that I could do. Facing many a dilemma on many occasions, this job is only getting tougher as the days pass by.

Anyway, a kudos to the other umpires of Alpha Coy who have helped out in some way or other in the evaluation. Here's the picture guys!
These men who answered the call of the nation are the very men some refer to as brothers or fathers for some. It is definitely heartwarming knowing that they take training so positively, if not for them, the country would not have enjoyed peace when they served their due a decade ago. All I can do, is to serve this nation the best I can in my best capacity. Till my first reservist call up! :)

Other pictures!
The long march..
Slacking in the training shed
Picture using Night vision goggles!! Cool stuff!

Commissioning ball!

I was on my way to my commissioning ball yesterday when I had a short conversation with the taxi uncle. I was feeling kinda unexcited about going to the ball when something he said struck me..

Taxi Uncle: "You know when I was young, I never had a chance to enjoy myself because I thought that such things were stupid. I never really thought about it until I grew too old to enjoy stuff like you now are."

Myself: .... (Feeling guilty)I somehow think so too uncle.

It was something that I never would have realised until then, that going to my commissioning ball was something that would happen once in my lifetime. I knew then that I had to enjoy myself.

Hey enough said, I enjoyed myself so much last night; took pictures and merried heartily with the company of the ladies! I'll let the pictures do the talking!

I was lucky this lady decided to say ok to be my date.. Haha. Thanks Mag!

A group photo of the ladies and gentlemen of table 2.. I thought all of us looked simply exquisite!


Me and my great Malay Buddies.. I'll miss them..

The gentlemen of Table 2..

I'm glad the ladies enjoyed themselves just as much.. I bet it was more fun for the ladies dressing up! It's a small world how all the ladies seem to know each other like they were long lost best friends after a night. Something we men can never understand... Hmmm..

Too bad that's the end of the big hoo ha of commissioning and 2LT duties are under way for me. Back to work on Sunday night! Back to the home of the Stingray! Ooh Aah!